Monday, January 15, 2007

I Gotta Be Me! 1

When I was sixteen, a kindred spirited uncle gave me a poster which hung in my room until I was married. Then it went with me to our first apartment. I'm not sure what happened to it after that, probably ripped to shreds by some unnappreciative two-year-old, but if I knew where it was, I would dig it out and put it back up.

The poster itself was pretty ugly. Flourescent green background with a big not-to-be-missed flourescent orange fingerprint right in the middle, surrounded with letters in the same horrid orange that spelled out, "I gotta be ME!"

Somewhere along the way I decided that the sentiment which had struck a chord so deep in me at sixteen was evidence of a self-centred attitude that had to be quashed. Come to think of it, I probably ripped up that poster myself.

It was a decision that would have been easy to make, too. It would be easier than facing the fact that I had no idea "who I am", wouldn't it? How can you be "me", if you have no idea who "me" truly is? There are a lot of voices out there that try to tell you who you are... but there are probably only one or two that are accurate. It's hard to sort them out from amidst the throng. I have a much better idea today "who I am" but it was a long road getting this far.. and I'm making new discoveries every day. But there is a lot of pressure to lose sight of who "me" is.

David was an unknown shepherd boy when he faced his giant. He was just a kid, not even strong enough to effectively wield a sword and too small to wear armour, but they tried to pressure him into doing it anyway. But he knew exactly who he was -- so he tossed the armour and the big sword and went to face Goliath with a sling, stopping to pick up five little stones on the way. He rejected the identity others were trying to put on him and went back to his own simple, uncomplicated self. Otherwise, do you think that giant who was hell-bent on destroying everything David believed in and held dear would have gone down? No way.

Of all the guys in the Old Testament, David is the one who scripture refers to as "the man after God's own heart". Yet his story has no shortage of weakness and failure - some pretty serious failure at that, adultery and murder being at the top of the list...

Do you think that what rang God's chimes when he thought affectionately of David as "a man after His own heart" was the fact that David KNEW who he was - who God had made him to be and, in spite of having messed up from time to time, he lived out to the fullest who God himself had created him to be?

I wonder...

3 comments:

Belinda said...

Dear Lily,
I think back to our time at the Willow Creek Summit where Rick Warren said that God will ask us one day why we weren't more like who he made us.

Finding who he made us to be, you're right, can be quite a journey. I'm glad you're on it and I know you'll find pure gold at the end--because that's all God makes.

Anonymous said...

It's about time. You know I don't like pseudonyms. Masks. Phony smiles. Too much make-up. Ok. Forget that last one. What I forgot to tell you is who you really are behind that mask is great. You have no need to hide.Not from where I'm sitting. This is appropriate- "You have nothing to fear but fear itself."Poppy- not because I need to hide but because I like it.

Leann said...

I guess God doesnt pick us cause we can do the job by our selves.He picks us cause with out him we will fall flat on our face.so we need to stick close to Him to do as He calls us to do.the reason David messed up is because he wasnt where he was suppose to be.it says "at the time kings were out fighting wars,David was home.he was in trouble cause he wasnt where he was suppose to be at the time.if he had been where he was suppose to be he would not have even seen the woman.how many times could we save our self alot of heart ache if we would be where we are suppose to be.the wife goes on a trip to see her mom.the hubby is bored and goes to have a drink with his friend.a woman shows up and soon the unthinkable happens. a wife talks to some man at work who listons to her but her hubby dont.soon there doing more then talking.life is funny it catches you off gard.for being a smart man David wasnt very smart when it came to lust.he had a eye problem and God knew it.it was the problem that got him back where he belonged.but it cost him alot by sinning in the first place.