Chickens and Bluejays

One of my sons just popped into my office where I've been pecking away at my keyboard. He's nineteen. He's the kind of guy that doesn't intrude into your space and time unless he has something very, very important to say. Usually he peeks into my office and if it looks like I'm busy, he heads off to find someone else to talk to. Today he came in and just stood there. I couldn't quite pull myself away from my thoughts and the task at hand, but sensing the importance of the moment, I wanted him to wait for me this time. So I said to him, without even turning around, "Wha's up, Dave?"

"I just saw something disturbing on TV." I dropped what I was doing (In mid thought! That's something for me.) and turned to face him.

"I read something," he is very literal in his thinking and if he actually "reads" it, as opposed to hearing it, he'd feel compelled to say so. "It was on that little ribbon of letters that goes across the bottom of the screen on CNN."

"What'd it say?" Judging from the look in his eyes, I was ready to hear some terrible news of a terrorist attack or an abduction or something.

"It was something about Burt Bacharach."

Well, that name is so incongruous with who David is, I was instantly intrigued. I wondered how he would even know who the heck Burt Bacharach is. He couldn't pronounce his name. I had to help him with that before he could continue.

"It said his daughter committed suicide.." (Why would David care about that?)

"Yes?"

"Well, it said that she was 40 years old and she committed suicide. Then it said "a family spokesperson said she was suffering from Asperger's Disorder."

His tone was suddenly empassioned. He dragged out the word "suffering" for special emphasis.

So that was it.

"Why would they say it like that, Mom? Why would they say she was "suffering" from Asperger's? Why would they call it a "disorder", anyway like there's something wrong with you if you have it? Isn't it a "syndrome"? They're making it sound like she committed suicide because she has Asperger's. The media is always saying stuff like that -- as if it's normal to commit suicide if you have something like Asperger's."

He stood there all tall and blond and handsome, with a fledgling growth of man-hair covering most of his chin. (Maybe next year those odd bare patches will all be filled in.) He's been busy packing today to go back to university after being home this past three weeks on his Christmas break. He's in his freshman year at Queen's, studying engineering, and, though stressed to his absolute limits this past semester, he's doing very, very well, thank you very much. Oh, he has his struggles, and he has had some nearly insurmountable challenges, but he's faced them, and he's kept on going. He's no quitter. All in all, he is a fine young man, much loved by his family and with a large circle of friends who share his passion for computer games. He's a son to be proud of. A son who it's not hard at all to feel a well of emotion and pride when I see him standing there... A son whose perspective on life is wise and wonderful and who is fun to be around and whose logical thinking is easy to follow. He has an amazing sense of humour, a wisdom that is way beyond his years and a very matter-of-fact way of looking at the world that is refreshing in every way.

David is all those things. And wrapped up in there somewhere in who he is, David has Asperger's.

More tomorrow...